Getting over a long term relationship with EFT

[The name has been changed for privacy]

Mary came to me in shock that her boyfriend of 10 years left her. She was devastated. She wanted to do EFT to get in touch with her overwhelming feelings that she’s alone now.

They were living together and she thought that after she finished Law School they would get married and everything was fine. They had some problems that she thought they could work out in therapy like “controlling issues”.

Suddenly, he decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she just couldn’t believe it. She said “he acted as if nothing was wrong for such a long time”. “He must have been planning this for a while”. She said “I trusted him and didn’t think he was capable of doing this to me”.

He said all the right things to her, “I want to marry you someday and have a house together and a family” but his actions weren’t showing it. She just kept staying with him hoping that the “marriage thing” would happen eventually. He put her through law school and she’s grateful for that, but she was so angry that he never kept his word.

She doesn’t know what happened. How could a man that has been committed to you for so many years and without telling you why, needs to move out? Did he have another woman? Mary didn’t know. Mary was so in shock, depended and looked up to this man as if he was god and could do no wrong.

So here’s how we started out session… we did EFT and tapped on the shock and devastation of him leaving her and the pain was in her gut.

Her shock was way past 10 and crying

(Karate chop point)

The Set-Up Phrase

“Even though I am in shock and devastated that he left me after all these years and I feel it in my gut, I love and accept myself with compassion and kindness.”

“Even though the shock of him leaving me is overwhelming to me and it’s in my gut, I accept all my feelings and who I am.”

“Even though I am completely devastated that he lied all along and left me, I’m doing the best I can to cope given the knowledge I have right now.”

Reminder Phases

• Eyebrow- This shocked and devastated feeling in my gut
• Side of Eye- I still can’t believe he left me
• Under the eye- I trusted him always
• Under the Nose- I stuck by him so many years
• Chin- I’m devastated
• Collarbone- I should of listened to the signals
• Side of ribs- I didn’t see them
• Top of head- Even though I didn’t catch the signals and I’m in shock I love and accept myself anyway.

Mary said it felt good to bring these feelings to the surface. It brought up all kinds of feelings she didn’t even know existed. The tears rolling down her eyes. Still high numbers

We tapped on another aspect (issue) that came up.

“Even though I want to punish him and have him know he lost a good thing, I don’t want to let go of this anger, I love and accept myself anyway”.

“Even though I want to make him suffer because of the pain he put me through, I appreciate and honor all my feelings”.

“Even though I want him to know he lost a good thing when he hears I’m in a great relationship, I accept myself completely”.

• Eyebrow- I want to punish him and suffer
• Side of eye- He lost a good woman
• Under the eye- I’m a great woman
• Under the nose- Didn’t he see that?
• Chin- How dare him not see I’m a great woman
• Collarbone- I’m a great woman and I don’t want him to forget that!

She took a deep breath and I asked her to put her hand on her heart knowing that even though he left her, she is a great woman and will get back on her feet and come to peace about this one moment at a time.

Her numbers went way down. I asked her to place her hands over her gut and she said she felt much better. We continued tapping on “maybe I don’t need to make him suffer”"I’m done with suffering” and a light bulb went on in her head. She realized that she just needs to get on with her life and come to peace with this. Her numbers went all the way down.